New Start Continued

Through out this tale i might regress a few times as bits and pieces of things long buried jumps back to my current awareness, so just bare with me. Now after that beating i suffered because of my brother, feelings of resentment started to grow and as each day passed i started looking at Winston less as a brother, but more as the reason why my life wasn't the fairy tale i thought it was going to be. It almost became a need to get attention from my parents, i started stealing money from the little by little nothing major just enough to pig out at the corner store.... however it would progress to me stealing valuable pieces of my mothers jewelry , and stealing stuff from the very same corner store in which i would squander my parents hard earned money. Of course as you can guess i didn't get the type of attention i wanted, i would get severely beaten each time i committed an offense ( though i admit these were all my doing). the beatings were so bad that when i went to school, i could not sit down with out grimacing in pain, it didnt take long for my teachers to notice. one day as i was in the bathroom, my teacher came in and asked me to raise my shirt, i complied and she say the huge black and bluse marks all over my back from a very recent beating. she asked me what had happened and i told her i was bad and my parents punished me for it. later that night as we were sitting down to eat, child protective services came and spent over an hour talking to my parents. of course when they left i got another beating for calling down people on our household, and they told me how ungrateful i was, and that they wished they had never adopted me if they knew i was gonna be so much trouble... now please note here, this is not something that you want to tell a child who already feels as thought they are being a burden more than everything else. after this incident i calmed down and things went smoothly for a while. i got to know my neighborhood and everyone soon knew the pretty little light skinned girl that lived on linden. at around eight, i began what you can call the litany of chores in my house. i was in charge of doing the grocery shopping, which sometimes didn't go too well. picture me around seven, eight struggling with bags of food. In every store on my block there would be an old perverted man leering at me as i shopped. in the corner Korean store there was this one guy especially that would corner me every time i came in and tried to kiss me, i would go home and tell my mother and she in turn would just brush it off because sometimes they would give me a discount on food., and then there was Juinor the guy who owned  the supermarket on Nostrand and Rogers, he was infatuated with me since i was seven and would always want to hug me and would always tell my mother i would be his future wife, my mom would laugh but i didn't find anything funny about the whole situation. anyway i learned to  avoid being alone with any of these guys and after a while it became normal for me to come in and feel them undressing me with their eyes, me.... not even old enough to hit puberty. at home i was in charge of cleaning the bathroom, dusting and vacuuming every Saturday morning and i had to sweep the house every night before i went to sleep. if for some reason i didn't  wash something clean enough they would wait until i went to sleep then they would wake me up to go and wash it all over again.... now did my brother have any chores or responsibilities??? of course not. i grudgingly accepted that this was my fate and resigned to living as such. things carried on this way for quit a while, i hated home life but excelled at school, by twelve  i had over fifty plus certificates ranging from student of the month, most improved etc. i was chosen to read a speech at the renaming of my public school, it used to be PS 181 but was renamed John Steptoe Elementary School, my picture was in the paper, lil ole me on the stage two pigtails, doing what i do best reading. that is one of about four or five times that my parents would ever tell me that they were proud of me.... then all hell broke loose....