BF's And Casual Encounters

This part of my blog is the most intimate and revealing of my life. I will refrain from putting full names, how ever I will be using first name initials. I will not be talking about Shamar, my daughters father in this section, because he will have a section devoted completely to him. I know you know the saying, when a woman tells you her sleeping partners, you need to add at least ten more to the list, to that I say do as you must, but I am honestly and willing recounting all the sexual encounters I have had in my 24yrs of life. So let me begin. Thanks to the abuse from my cousins, I was knowledgeable in the ways of guys and what they really wanted at the end of the day. I perfected my game of teasing and manipulation, I would reel them in, only to hurt them because I wanted to share the pain, (more like inflect  it actually) I suffered at the hands of my cousins. My first every puppy love as its called was J.L.B. I was in the seventh grade in Jamaica and he was a Senior. When ever I saw him I would get all girly and giggly. He was the person who gave me my first kiss, I was sitting on the sofa beside him, and he just leaned over and kissed me. I was so flustered, that I jumped up, and ran home. Looking back now, I cant help but think about what was going through his mind when I did that. That was all I shared with him, because I left Jamaica that summer to come back to the U.S.  Shortly after starting school back up here, I met another guy, K.D.K. I was 14 and he was 20. He was tall, Jamaican, funny, full of life, a nice sexy body, willing to go to the ends of the world for me. He was the one who showed me how to french kiss properly, I would sneak him into my apartment when my dad left to go bet on horses. K.D.K. fell in love with me, he is one of the first guys that actually fell head over heels for me, but I felt nothing for him in return. He was just an amusing past time, I would laugh at how he would drop whatever he was doing just to come see me. K.D.K. stayed on the outskirts of my life all through high school. Things at times got pretty steamy between us, but I never slept with him, although I thoroughly enjoyed the blue balls I gave him. In my junior year of high school, I started drifting away from him, as I was talking to other people, this made him upset and he would stalk me, sit out side my school, drive behind me as I was walking home, leave me messages on my phone, singing me songs, it got to the point where I told him that if he couldn't control him self and relax I would have to tell my parents or the police about him. He calmed down and I kept him around as a friend. M.B. was a boy, I call him a boy because I was always attracted to older men, and he was two years younger than me, worked at the supermarket around the corner from my house. I just used him so that he would carry my bags for me when I went shopping. The only thing we ever did was kiss and after a while I got bored with him. He, however is the first and only guy my father caught me with, (no not in that sense), keep in mind how strict my parents were., I was walking back from the supermarket and M.B. had his arm around me and my father nearly had a heart attack. I played it off and told my dad that he was just the guy who worked at the supermarket and he was helping me with the bags. My mother, shockingly enough told my dad that she knew him and that he was a good kid. M.B. moved to Philly in 2005, he stayed in touch with me for a while, but when I stopped returning his calls, I lost touch with him, until I found him again on Myspace, where I learned that he was an expectant father. G.G. I will never forget him. I would walk home from work and walk on his side of the street on purpose. He was tall, nice hair, another Jamaican. He excited me because he was a bad boy, the type that my parents tried to steer me far, far away from. One day he chased me down the street, wrote his number on a match box and told me to call him. I would go to his house sometimes instead of going to work, or I would lie and say I had a project for school just so that I could go see him. At first all we would do is kiss, because that's all I would allow, honestly that's all I knew how to do and at the time I was 17yrs old. After a while, I guess he got tired of that and made a rule in which I couldn't get into his bed unless I took my clothes off. At first I refused, as I was still ashamed of my own body, but then I obliged and I would be in my panties and bra around him. The one memory I will have of G.G. is this, one day I was at his house and I was on top of him kissing him, he reached inside my panties and finger popped me, I was so shocked and ashamed that I literally jumped off him, and landed on the floor. He was looking at me like I was crazy and to this day we still share a laugh over it. I cant really say how me and G.G. stopped talking, it just sort have happened, He was the first guy that I gave the title of boyfriend to and he  is one of the few guys that I had true feelings for....